Navigating the Toxic Spiritual Coaching Industry
The truth is…
Spirituality + Business + Marketing is really, really hard to do.
Ethically.
It is hard to do ethically.
Not impossible. But hard.
I’m realizing this now. Over a year in my own spiritual business.
I studied Marketing and Communications at Florida State University. Before embarking on my own spiritual journey, I worked as a Marketer from small publishing companies to America’s largest chain of organic supermarkets.
I’m no stranger to the fine line that is manipulation and marketing.
Marketing is, at its core, psychology. And at its worst, using calculated emotional tactics to make a sale.
It’s a powerful tool. One that if placed in the wrong hands, can cause more harm than good. But if placed in the right hands, can change the world for the better.
So when I decided to officially start my Spiritual Coaching and Meditation business last year, I knew this. And I tried my best. But of course my best isn’t perfect.
Because I’m human. And I make mistakes. (And hopefully learn from them. Hopefully.)
It wasn’t long before I found myself somewhere in the middle of the toxic marketing tactics the spiritual industry uses to sell and trying to stay true to my values. But also needing to market my business so I can make money.
The toxic marketing tactics that positions *said spiritual coach* as someone who was able to rise above the pain and suffering of the human experience, escape all of life’s responsibilities to live in a luxurious bungalow in the jungles of Bali, and live happily ever after with the perfect man she manifested and the hundreds of thousands of dollars she passively makes because she cracked this secret code to life.
And if you just pay her $4,444 for her upcoming step-by-step manifestation workshop (whose sales page leads with triggering your shame and pain points), she can show you how to live this perfect life, too.
This style of messaging and marketing is toxic because it’s selling you a false dream. Because no one, not a single person on planet earth, is exempt from pain, constant work, and uncertainty.
So when you follow *said spiritual coach’s* step-by-step manifestation program and you’re STILL experiencing pain, constant work and uncertainty, you’re left feeling defeated and guilty.
And if you dare say something to *said spiritual coach*, it is YOUR fault you’re not swimming in divine abundance.
You’re thinking too small.
You’re afraid of your own success and power.
You haven’t cleared out the money blocks.
There’s something stuck in your subconscious that you need to rewire.
Here, sign-up for this course instead!
Basically, you’re just left feeling like there is something inherently wrong with YOU because you can’t *think* your way to a bigger, dreamier life.
And now you’re running in circles on this never-ending hamster wheel of spiritual self-development to get you to “good/healed enough” for that perfect, free from suffering life.
I have fallen for this trap one too many times. Because it’s tempting. And who doesn’t want to escape life’s responsibilities and retreat to a Balinese jungle with the perfect man and a never ending flow of cash?!?
We are having a human experience after all.
And although I never went to that extreme as a Spiritual Coach, I’ll be honest, I thought something along those lines was the answer to marketing my services.
I thought that if I only highlighted the positive aspects of meditation and the spiritual journey, that would inspire people to sign-up for a private session or a group course.
If I presented the “after” meditation glow only, the inner peace and love that comes with spiritual development only, that people would want to learn how to meditate and embark on a spiritual meditation journey with me.
This came from a good place. Just like I’m sure a lot of these new-age spiritual coaches come from a good place. (I genuinely believe people are inherently good and we’re just doing the best with where we are and what we got.)
But as I continued to create marketing content positioning myself as some sort of fully healed, always blissed-out meditator, an inner whisper told me something was off.
Every time I sold this peaceful, easy, figured out life, something in me resisted.
At first, I thought it was the good ol’ “I’m scared of success / I’m not used to selling myself like this” story. So I kept going. I kept pushing. But that whisper eventually turned into a screech.
And I reached a point where I didn’t want to do it this way. But also, I had a business to run and I had to eat.
There I was. Somewhere in the middle. Stuck. With the internal screams of the mind and intuition battling it out.
But any time I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and surrender to my intuition, the inner toxic messaging I’ve been bombarded with turned the volume up even more:
“You are the only thing standing in your way of success. You’re scared of success because it’s unfamiliar to you. STOP. PLAYING SMALL!”
So I was conflicted. I didn’t want to “give up”. But also, my intuition was saying no to these emotional marketing tactics. But if I didn’t *consistently* market myself and my business, I wouldn’t make money. You see the conundrum?
To add insult to injury, I started questioning my own intuition. I prayed about this business for years. I thought it was my calling — straight from God’s mouth to my ears.
But isn’t your calling supposed to flow? Isn’t God supposed to open these doors once you answer? Isn’t your calling supposed to feel effortless?!?
At least that’s what I was told, once again, by the new-age spiritual industry.
But that’s not what happened. I worked so hard. I strategized. I marketed. I visualized. I faced my “fears” head on.
And I eventually hit a wall. Actually, I ran straight into it. I wasn’t so sure about this “calling” anymore.
There I was. Not sure how to move forward. Not knowing if I even wanted to continue with this business.
So Life brought me to where it always brings me when I crash into that wall – my cushion.
I meditated. I prayed. I got off social media. I walked outside everyday. And I waited for guidance.
It took a good 4 weeks to remember what I already knew to be true (but I forget because the fulfillment of desires and financially successful life purposes sounds so sweet, right?)...
Spirituality is never, never about getting what you want. Or about avoiding what you don’t want.
Spiritual growth and development isn’t measured by money or abundance or luxury.
(This is seriously the most western, white-washed, capitalist version of spirituality you will ever encounter.)
God is not a genie that grants your wishes and rewards you for good behavior.
Life reminded me of what I learned about God, spirituality, life purpose and desires in India — from my teachers and the ancient great masters (not the spiritual instagram influencer).
God brought me back to my spiritual roots of Yoga, Buddhism, Jesus, Surrender and Self-Realization.
And She reminded me that my only purpose is to Self-Realize (not be rich). And share her Love.
And that if I want to share that journey publicly and help others…
I cannot let my desire for financial success override my desire to stay in my spiritual integrity.
And if that means getting a job (gasp lol) to support this mission, then that’s what it means.
Life also brought me back to my marketing education and experience, reminding me that I never once, NOT A SINGLE TIME, created anything to convince anyone to do anything. My job was to share our mission with good storytelling that incites feel-good feels (not painful or shameful. Think heartfelt Publix commercials or funny Superbowl ads).
And even after all that guidance from God, the mind STILL wanted to say…“That’s a story you’re telling yourself. You create your reality with your thoughts. You CAN be successful AND ethical AND spiritual. You just have to BELIEVE it and change your thinking.”
But I also know I’m not here to master my mind. I’m here to transcend it. To Realize I am not the mind, I am the One observing it.
This is the spiritual path of surrendering and Self-Realizing. The one I’m committed to staying on. And sharing.
I was SOOOOO scared of surrendering this business. Of letting it unfold organically. Of getting a job to support it (because my mind convinced me that meant I failed).
But the second I released the grip I had on my business, the literal SECOND I gave it to God, I sighed — for the first time in a long, long, loooooong time.
Buddha really wasn’t wrong when we said attachment causes suffering. And surrendering is the ultimate path to true freedom — freedom from the mind.
I’m not the Spiritual Coach that is going to help you fulfill your deepest desires and make a ton of money fulfilling your life’s purpose.
I’m the Spiritual Coach that is going to share the tools, techniques and teachers that are helping me surrender and Self-Realize, allowing us to live more peacefully in the present moment and reconnect with our true Selves.
To show up as a student first. To be in the trenches with you. And to share these tools, techniques and teachers in the most ethical way possible.
Imperfectly because I’m human.
To try my best not to sell you a false dream of a perfect life, but to share the truth — that even with all of the spiritual practices, we will still experience pain, constant work and uncertainty…and that’s ok.
That there are tools to help us open our hearts, live peacefully in the present moment, and move forward with more patience, gratitude, compassion and Love.
The path of surrender and Self-Realization isn’t as sexy or tempting as the sparkly manifesting path, but it’s what I believe to be the most powerful when it comes to reaching the ultimate spiritual goal of true freedom…
Freedom from the mind.
And it is my promise to serve you the way my teachers have served me — with spiritual integrity first, foremost and always.
