The Hard Truth About Authentic Living
I love preaching authenticity. It sounds so nice, right?
Live your most authentic life!
Be true to yourself!
Pretty words. Pair them with a pretty picture, and the image of living authentically seems like pure magical .
But in true Janelle fashion, let’s be real .
Living my most authentic life meant:
Quitting a secure job I loved, leaving me with no income for the next 18 months
Anxiety — for the next 18 months
Ending a five year relationship with a secure, good man
Moving back in with my parents after 10 years of living independently
Being told “you really shouldn’t go alone, [insert any country I want to visit] is dangerous” over and over and over again, being scared shtless, and going alone anyway
Counting pennies, eating street food, and sleeping in cheap hostels to find God
Countless lonely nights wondering what the hell I was doing with my life
Coming back home to friends that didn’t recognize me anymore and “missed the old Janelle”
Grief — so much grief
Going against the grain time and time again
Making my healing journey, personal growth and development my full-time job
Not being taken seriously for years, getting mocked at when I said I wanted to be a healer — “Janelle doesn’t work”
Doubting myself, the life I chose to live, and my ability to be a healer
Watching all of my peers climb corporate ladders, get married, buy homes, have babies — while I sat alone, on the other side of the world, broke, confused, yet there was no turning back
It meant being radically, brutally honest with myself and admitting what role I was playing in my own misery.
It meant admitting that I kept attracting unavailable men because I was the unavailable one.
It meant not knowing so much, but knowing one thing and one thing only — that I HAD to be true to myself, even when I didn’t even know what that meant.
Living authentically was never about taking a temporary pause on my conventional life, traveling the world, eating pretty vegan food, and teaching yoga.
Living authentically was about hearing everyone and their mother tell me how I should live my life and not listening to them.
Living authentically meant not depending on someone outside of me or needing a piece of paper to tell me who I am, but claiming it myself.
I am a Consciousness Coach, Intuitive Guide and Spiritual Mentor.
Living authentically meant believing myself and the quiet whisper that kept guiding me over the screams of society.
Staying true to myself and living MY authentic life was the hardest, most uncertain, radical thing I’ve ever done.
And yet, the most rewarding.
It took six years of questioning and eventually believing to get comfortable with my most authentic life, my most authentic self — and still I shed, grieve, question, doubt, but know.
I want you to remember this when you make the very conscious unconventional choice of living your most authentic life. It’s not fun (at first). It’s definitely not easy (ever). It’s not about doing whatever the hell you want whenever the hell you want.
Living authentically is about saying no to everyone else and saying yes to yourself. Over and over and over again. Amongst the questioning, doubt and confusion. You always choose you.
And then maybe it feels good. Maybe it doesn't. But it will always feel real. Your life will feel true and honest. It will feel like YOUR life. And that’s the best feeling in the world — the feeling of knowing you came to this earth and lived YOUR life.
There is no greater feeling.
