For the Love of Food: Part II

I haven’t written a food post since I’ve been in India. And she calls herself a foodie?!

Allow me to explain.

If you’ve read my post For the Love of Food I wrote right around this time last year, perhaps you’ll understand my relationship with it. To keep it short and sweet: I. Love. Food. All kinds of delicious, healthy, not-so-healthy, rich, savory, sweet, light, heavy, tasty foods. All of it. A huge part of my identity is the fact that I am a “foodie”. I worked for an awesome foodie company, I started my own foodie blog and if you asked me what my hobbies were I would say “Eating. Oh, and drinking.” Nothing makes me happier than a gourmet cheeseburger and an ice-cold craft beer, with dessert of course. I am the one everyone calls for restaurant recs. I am always the first in line at the newest eatery in town.

I am a foodie.

I started The Free Spirit Foodie as a food and travel blog with a dash of inspiration. My plan was to travel, eat delicious foreign cuisine and bring my readers along with my travel tips and foodie fun. I had it all planned out. I would be the next star in the food and travel blogoshpere…

Do you want to make God laugh? Tell Him about your plans.

And then I came to India.

Any identity or life plans I brought with me quickly faded into the boisterous Indian background. I began questioning everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! I guess you can say I was having somewhat of an identity crisis. It’s like my soul was coming back to life and she wanted to go this way, but my ego and all her attachments to this little “I” wanted to go that way. I felt like I was moving forward, faster than I could keep up with, and although I knew there was no turning back, I definitely kept looking back.

The last thing I was thinking about was food. “Write and post ‘My favorite Indian Eats’” was on the bottom of my to-do list. On the top, “Find God”.

I had some long spells of silence. Not sure what to do with my blog. Not really wanting to share on social media. Not really sure what to do, period.

Finding God is anything but rosy. Sure it’s pure bliss, but that lasts about a few days, a few weeks if you’re lucky. And then it’s time to work. It’s time to grow. And growth is painful. It’s messy. It’s really, really hard.

I spent a lot, and I mean A LOT of time meditating. Once I realized nothing in this world was going to give me the answers to my questions, I knew I had to search within. Lesson #187 on this crazy India journey: I am not this “I”. I am not a foodie, I am not a Cuban-American, I am not a 5’5 medium built brunette, I am not a blogger, I am not even Janelle. Those are simply labels. I am something much deeper than any label. I am joyous, blissful, loving, kind, beautiful, perfect Spirit. And so are you.

I’m getting to the food part, promise.

If you ever find yourself on a serious spiritual path the first thing you’ll start working really hard at is mastering your mind, your ego, this little “I”. You quickly realize “addictions” are much more than substance dependence. Ok, perhaps I’m not an alcoholic or a druggie, but I am an addict. I’m addicted to my overly emotional, debilitating, self-loathing, destructive, habitual ways of thinking/reacting/being. And like with any addiction, in order to break them you have to become the master, not the slave, of your mind.

This is the beginning of finding inner peace. This is the beginning of “mastering” the mind.

Now this brings me to my relationship with food. This is going to be difficult to explain with mere words, but I will try my best.

Food has always been a crutch for me. Like many of us, food brings me temporary comfort and so much joy. Key word here…temporary. As I worked really hard at controlling my emotional and mental tendencies, I noticed that when I hit a wall, all I wanted was something tasty and usually unhealthy to make me feel better.

I had to ask myself, how is dealing with my personal issues the same way I’ve always dealt with them really helping me grow? If I’m aware, but I keep reacting the same way, as in eating a slice of chocolate cake or binge drinking cappuccinos, how am I really transforming? How am I really practicing self-control? How am I really “mastering” my mind and habits?

I’m not. I’m simply just aware, which is a HUGE step in it of itself. But awareness and self-control go hand-in-hand in personal growth.

But trust me when I say this lesson did not come easy.

I personally really struggled with this because of the idea that I was a “foodie”. I had such a difficult time letting go of this label. I don’t know why, but I was so attached to it. It’s not the label itself that causes the suffering; it’s the attachment to it.

So the Universe, as brilliant as She is, starts doing Her thing. Signs. So many signs. And signs aren’t always these pretty little love notes sprinkled about your day. Signs are sometimes really painful. And the more you ignore them, the louder and more excruciating they get. I think we can all relate to this…ignoring painful signs and then getting sledge-hammered in the face with them.

But, along with the agonizing signs, the Universe will ALWAYS bring you help.

I quickly realized if I'm giving my mind and soul 100%, but giving my body 75%, I’m totally off balance. And to some, this concept might sound so simple. Like, did I really have to come all the way to India, meditate my life away, sacrifice so much just to come to the realization that innocently indulging in chocolate cake isn’t serving my higher good?!

Yes, yes I did. Like many, many lessons you’ll learn on your path, it’s one thing to know this on an intellectual level, but it’s a whole other story to understand this on an experiential level.

Mind, body, soul connection. One can’t perform optimally without the other performing optimally. All three need 100%.

So, this is where I am in my foodie journey. This means feeding my body (mind and soul!) what it needs and ONLY what it needs. Being in India without a kitchen will have its challenges. There’s no Whole Foods around the corner to stock up on my favorite fruits, veggies or super foods. But I’m really starting to love these obstacles because I know on the other side is a wiser and happier Janelle.

I also started reading and studying Ayurveda, the world’s oldest system of medicine. Originated in India some 5,000 years ago, Ayurveda is all about balancing the mind, body and soul through food, herbs, and yoga. Oh, and oil…lots and lots of oil! I will write another post on Ayurveda soon to share all of this ancient goodness with you! Omg, sooooo so so much old-world holistic deliciousness, I can’t wait to share!

Wherever you are on your path (because we are ALL on a spiritual path, some of us are just asleep), I pray you honor the signs, learn your lessons gracefully, trust trust TRUST the process, experience the most magical AHA moments, master the mind and wake-up to the perfect Being you already are.

Cheers to inner peace and everlasting bliss!

Namaste,

The Free Spirit Foodie (with no attachment to this label ;) )